Cynicism is Intellectual Cowardice

Of late, we, as a generation, are becoming more and more Cynical. Criticism is a way of life for us. We criticize a lot. When I say 'a lot', I mean "A LOT". We believe in living an unconventional life, breaking taboos, criticizing anything and anyone that remotely resembles the older way of life or perhaps old tastes. We ‘HAVE TO’ criticize.

We think we are too smart for rest of the humanity and will be doing them a favour by letting them know that how ‘Frank Sinatra’ is superior to ‘Justin Bieber’; that if they have not read ‘Kafka’, their life is a waste; that how trekking, hiking and visiting most exotic locations is the ONLY ‘cool’ way of holidaying and everything else is passé (If you are wondering what I mean, read this http://www.huffingtonpost.com/william-d-chalmers/are-you-a-travel-snob_b_4645989.html) . Friendships are not based on common likes, affection or bonding anymore but on the basis of common dislikes.

With social media everywhere (I mean literally everywhere !!) and consuming most of our waking up hours, this fad of showing academic erudition and superior tastes has delve deep into our psyche without us realising it. So much so that this is not only restricted to shaping our perceptions about other people in terms of their taste in music, cinema, books, travel etc. but also our evaluation of the personal choices they make in THEIR LIVES.  

And oh, did I mention ‘Twitter’?  Yes, the Mecca of cynicism. The school where this art is learnt and perfected to its zenith. Everyone over there is an armchair pundit who believes that tweeting and criticizing will change the world. It won’t be an exaggeration if twitter site hangs a board which reads ‘Enter at your own risk’.

As much I would hate to admit, knowingly or unknowingly, I have had phases where I had problems with the world and its ways. What I could understand of it is that initially cynicism gives a high and then it becomes all encompassing depriving you of the happiness of small things in life. Looking back, there were so many altercations which could be avoided, so many people who could be befriended, so many jokes which could be laughed at and so many memories that could be created. But nonetheless, better late than never J. I am glad, I have finally arrived at peace.

I couldn’t agree more when I read somewhere “Cynicism is Intellectual Cowardice…a Cop-Out to Rationalize Fear and Laziness” and which also propelled this post.

Having been relieved from this baggage of judging people, life seems so light and delightful. Even the most logical amongst us would agree that what one wears, drinks, listen, watch, do with their life etc. is a matter of HIS/HER choice, not your’s and mine even if the choice are traditional in literal sense of the word.

If we count our blessings, we realise that perhaps we are the first generation in our families who have lived alone, acquired varied experiences in terms of relationships, travel, music, cinema, food, cultures etc. and have convinced ourselves and society about our professional and personal capabilities at an extremely young age. We have been blessed to be born into families which could provide for us, gave us liberty to fly our wings, make our choices, learn from mistakes and yet be by our side all the time without judging us.

Let’s try to accept others for once and dance with them on their music once in a while. Come on, it ain’t that difficult J

THE CONVERSION

“Skepticism is the beginning of Faith”

- OSCAR WILDE

Religion… easy to say, extremely difficult to comprehend. A system of faith and worship to say the least. Yup, quite absurd but surely keeps us going. Some say we adopt a religion and then there is a school of thought which says that we are rather born in a religion. So if we are born in a religion our parents and their parents have followed for years, from where does the thought of conversion arises. ?

“Conversion”… again a very complex issue to handle. The phenomenon is not new. From conversions of dalits into Christianity in 1900’s to Cassious Clay’s conversion into Mohammad Ali in 60’s to embracement of Mystical Sufism by our very own Dilip Shekhar (better known as A.R. Rehman), it has now existed for many years around us. But the question “Why do people covert to some other faith after having born and spent formative years in a certain sect”? remains unanswered. Is it the quest for actualization or is it a way to protest against the religion one is born in? While the former marks the evolution of man’s spiritual inclinations, the latter is a mark of dissent for disgusting social systems and ordinances that accompany religious beliefs. Both have antonymous connotations attached to it. In former case, it might be a decision well pondered over, in latter case, it could be a sign of remonstration. Every time someone converts, it might not necessarily a conversion from one faith to another. Look closely, it could very well be a conversion from a Believer to a Non- believer. A non-believer of the faith that must have promised a lot during the formative years of a one's life but failed to deliver as one grows up into an adult.

A religious system most of the time is well entangled with a social system. The way of life as they say. For some, this adoption of way of life might be easy, for others it doesn’t turn out to be good enough. The ultimate way to protest is the renunciation of that faith. However, as we have been taught to believe, faith is quintessential for existence of mankind. So one looks for other schools of thought that might reinforce the detestation for one’s indigenous religion. This turns out to be a choice good enough for adoption. And then takes place “THE CONVERSION”. Though I must admit that it is a very strong perspective to take but it surely has its roots into collective understanding of the issue of conversion. It might be an amateur attempt to handle a multifarious issue like this but I guess it’s worth enough to be food for thought for many of us. So next time when I hear about someone embracing about a particular faith , I am surely going to look for reasons beyond obvious.

CORONA DIARY

MY #CORONAEXPERIENCE [*LONG POST ALERT]

 

Disclaimer – I am a 34 years old female, resident of New Delhi, India. This is my personal account of dealing with #Coronavirus #Covid19 and in no way suggest that course of disease will be same for all patients. Age, pre-existing medical conditions, immune response etc. are important factors that determine severity of diseases in each patient. Only purpose to write this account is to share my story and provide information that can come handy in dealing with #Covid19.

 

CORONA DIARY

 

Day 1 – Woke up with Sore Throat (very mild and easy to ignore). By afternoon, developed 99.5 F fever. Considering widespread #Covid19 in Delhi, talked to family doctor over phone. As advised, started a basic three-day course of antibiotics/anti-allergic/Paracetamol and wait to see if the fever subsides. Doctor also suggested to keep a track of any other symptoms such as coughing, breathlessness etc. for next three days. I informed my office and took leave for few days.

 

Day 2 & 3 – Continued with my medicines but mild fever persisted (99-100 F). Despite taking paracetamol 3 times a day, fever never subsided. Fatigue began.

 

Day 4 - Woke up with 101 F. Informed doctor over phone that fever had not subsided despite taking medicines. He prescribed that we should rule out other infections first.

 

On the same day, I decided to isolate myself in a room and separate my utensils as a matter of abundant caution to ensure safety of my family members.

 

Day 5 – On prescription of family doctor, got myself tested for Dengue, Malaria, Typhoid and CBC. All reports were available by evening and found to be normal. Mild fever (99-100 F) continued and never faded despite taking paracetamol thrice a day.

 

Day 6 – Since all other infections have been ruled out, we decided that it’s time to get tested for #Covid19. On health front, I had begun to feel weak due to persistent fever for last 5-6 days.

 

Note:-

Basically, there are three ways to get tested for #Covid19 which I have listed below:-

 

1. Firstly, prescription of a doctor is mandatory for #Covid19 testing.

 

2.  If you have prescription from a doctor, you can contact nearest ICMR (Indian Council of Medical Research) approved lab for testing. List of ICMR approved labs is available on Arogya Setu App and is also there on ICMR’s website. I will suggest that you call up at the lab first to understand all formalities before visiting personally.

 

3. Some private labs in Delhi also provide drive-way testing facility to minimize the risk/exposure. We also enquired about the same but there was 3 days waiting period. Since I was in fever for last 5-6 days, we decided not to wait.

 

4.  Third way is to visit the Flu Clinic of the nearest hospital. All large private hospitals in Delhi have a Flu Clinic where patients with flu like symptoms can walk in and get themselves examined in OPD. Luckily, we have one of the largest and oldest private hospitals of Delhi in proximity of our house. We visited hospital’s Flu Clinic and after examination, doctor prescribed for #Covid19 testing. I gave my sample for testing in the same hospital same day.

 

5. It is mandatory to carry a copy of Aadhar Card for testing.

 

6. Please bear in mind that hospitals are full of patients and it can take 3-4 hours or even longer to get patient examined in OPD and get testing done. Be patient as everyone there is sailing in the same boat. An attendant must accompany patient in the hospital and should carry something to eat and water to drink to avoid exhaustion/dehydration.

 

7. If attendant is asymptomatic, then he/she must wear double mask, face shield, gloves, carry sanitizer to minimize his/her exposure in the hospital’s flu clinic. Must bathe after coming back home.

 

Day 7 – Reports may take 24-48 hrs. By Afternoon, my report was available on website of the hospital. I download the report and it was found to be POSITIVE. 

 

You can visit flu clinic of the hospital with your report. They will assess your medical history and symptoms. If symptoms are severe and patient has difficulty breathing OR if patient is aged with several co-morbidities, they may advise to get admitted. Since I am young with no major co-morbidities and only symptom I had was fever, they suggested that there is no need to get admitted yet and it can be managed in home isolation. I further received following instructions from them: -

 

1. Immediately isolate myself in a separate room with an attached bathroom (if that is possible at home).

 

2. Start the first line basic treatment (They prescribed medicines which I started the same day).

 

3. Measure my oxygen levels and Pulse at least thrice a day with the help of a Pulse Oximeter. In case I feel breathless or my oxygen level drops, I should immediately reach COVID emergency department of the hospital.

 

4. Drink lots of hot water. Take steam. Gargle twice a day with lukewarm salted water.

 

Despite doing everything, I continued to have fever (99-101 F). It would never subside.

 

Note:-

1. Keep list and phone numbers of nearby hospitals treating Covid19 patients & contact details of 2-3 ambulance services handy at home in case of emergency.

 

2. Always keep a Thermometer, Pulse Oximeter and basic medicines at home.

 

Day 8 – On health front, I began to have high fever (101-102 F). Extreme weakness begins to set in. Little bit coughing started but thankfully my oxygen levels never dropped.

 

We received a call from local SDM Office. They already had information about my #Covid19 positive report. They enquired about number of people in family, their age and existing health conditions. We informed them that apart from me and my husband, we have two senior citizens in the house (my in-laws) who have age related conditions and a two year old child (our son). They also enquired about the structure of the house. Since we are fortunate to have a double storey house, they allowed home isolation in my case. I isolated myself on first floor and remaining family stayed on ground floor. In case the house is small, they do offer to find you a bed in nearest government quarantine facility. They sent a person to put a board of Quarantine outside our house. 

 

Later I also gathered that some hotels in Delhi are also providing quarantine facility where patient can rent a room for some days to isolate himself/herself and they provide all facilities to the patient. In case you have a small house and wish to isolate yourself in such an arrangement, you can enquire about the same.

Note: -

I also received a phone call from Delhi Covid Helpline the same day. It is a helpline run by Delhi Government for #Covid19 patients in Delhi who have mild symptoms and are in home isolation. They provide mandatory following services to the patients under home isolation free of cost:-

 

1. They will share the link of a video on your watsapp. This video will explain in detail about how to take care of patients under home isolation. It’s a very comprehensive video and is available on youtube. I am also sharing the link for reference Delhi Fights Corona

 

2. They will call you every day to enquire about the status of your health. So, please pick up call even if it is from an unknown number. Someone from Delhi Covid Helpline or SDM office may be trying to contact you.

 

3. When they call you and you tell them that you wish to speak to a doctor, they will arrange for a tele-consultation. Doctor will call you and you can discuss your symptoms. They will even forward a soft copy of prescription on your watsapp after every tele-consultation. They will call you everyday till you are in home isolation/your report comes negative. Personally, I have become a fan of Delhi Covid Helpline for their hard work and thorough follow up of each patient under home isolation.

 

4. Rely on credible sources such as ICMR, Ministry of Health and Family Welfare (MoHFW) or Delhi COVID  helpline for guidelines on home isolation and treatment.

 

5. PLEASE DO NOT BELIEVE OR CIRCULATE FAKE WATSAPP FORWARDS AND PRESCRIPTIONS.

 

6. It may take up to 24-48 hrs for your status to change in Arogya Setu. My Status changed from ‘Low Risk of Infection’ to ‘You are COVID Positive’.

 

7. From what I have gathered now, several private hospitals have also started 15 day home isolation/care facility for a fee of Rs. 250-300/- per day. If you wish to avail this facility from a private hospital, you can enquire the same from hospitals.

 

Day 9 – High Fever continued (101-102 F) that caused immense weakness. Coughing also started to get worsen for which doctor added a cough syrup to my medicines. But my oxygen levels never dropped. Fever did not fade despite taking paracetamol 4 times a day.

 

Meanwhile, we also decided to get all members of the family tested and arranged for their sample collection.

 

Day 10 -   High Fever continued (101-102 F). Started feeling extremely weak and coughing continued to worsen. But there was no difficulty in breathing and my oxygen levels were normal. I did notice that my Pulse was on the higher side but I assumed it is because of weakness due to high fever for last 10 days. I later realized I should have not ignored this symptom.

 

Test Results of my family members came by evening. My Husband, Mother-in-law and 2 year Old Son tested positive whereas my Father-in-law (who is a senior citizen and heart patient) tested negative. We again changed our living arrangement and ensure my Father-in-law does not mingle with any one of us. However, I continued to maintain complete isolation in a separate room as I was symptomatic and remaining Covid19 positive members of the family were asymptomatic.

 

Results of the family members did create a sense of panic. We were especially worried for our 2 years old son. I spoke to his paediatrician over phone. He assured me that children all over the world are coping best with #Covid19. We should continue with his routine and there is no need to worry if he is asymptomatic. Thankfully my family members remained asymptomatic throughout their 17 days quarantine period and tested negative thereafter.

 

Day 11 – My health continued to deteriorate. High Fever, Worsening Cough, Extreme Weakness had taken its toll. It had become difficult to speak a single word without coughing. We talked to family doctor and also spoke to a doctor at Flu Clinic of the hospital. They suggested that it’s time to visit the hospital and get patient examined.

 

Day 12 – We visited flu clinic of the hospital and gave them all details of my treatment under home isolation. Worsening cough was the prime symptom for which they prescribed an X-Ray. It took us 5-6 hours in the hospital to get myself examined in OPD, getting an X-Ray Done, waiting for the report and then showing my report to the doctor. After seeing my X-Ray, doctor suggested that infection in my lungs had begun and I should get admitted immediately. We enquired about the availability of the bed and luckily one bed was available.

 

We came home to pick up our stuff. 12 days of high fever, worsening cough, extreme weakness and 5-6 hours of exertion in hospital left me completely exhausted that day. When we came back for admission in hospital, I had to be taken inside on a wheelchair as I was unable to walk.

 

Psychologically, I was under great stress and anxiety as it was not an easy decision to get myself admitted in hospital leaving behind our 2 years old Covid Positive Son at home (although asymptomatic). I was more worried for him than myself. Hundreds of thoughts flashed my mind (What if he develops symptoms in my absence? He is too small to even explain properly if he is unwell etc. etc.). My husband reasoned out with me that right now its important that I start my hospitalization as I already had pneumonia in my lungs. We will deal with symptoms of other family members (if and when they appear).

 

In life, sometimes you have to surrender yourself to the circumstances and leave the rest to God !!

 

Note: -

1. If you decide to get admitted in a private hospital, you may have to give them a hefty deposit at the time of admission (around 2 lacs) which they adjust later from the total bill.

 

2. If you depend on insurance coverage for your hospitalization, please call up your insurance company and enquire about the extent of coverage they will provide in case of Covid19. Keep all papers and information handy at home.

 

3. On the day I got admitted in hospital, Delhi Covid Helpline did contact me with their usual follow up call. When I told them that my case had become severe and hospitalization will be needed, they did offer to find me a bed in nearest government hospital. However, we decided to go for the treatment in a private hospital. But I appreciate their effort as all families do not have the financial might to undertake such expensive treatment in a private hospital.

 

I was in my worst health ever when I reached hospital and had to be taken inside on a wheelchair. It was 8 pm and senior doctors had finished their rounds. Nurse made me speak to a senior doctor over phone and I explained to him my condition, treatment under home isolation, X-Ray report etc.

 

Doctor explained to Nurse about the treatment that had to be started immediately. Entire Night was spent giving me injections through drip, doing ECG, taking blood samples, giving oxygen, nebulization etc.

 

Day 13

By the time Senior Doctor visited next day at 11 am, all my reports and file were ready. Hospital staff works entire night. 

 

Apart from persistent fever and pneumonia in lungs, Covid and extreme anxiety had taken a toll on my heart. Although I had never had a heart condition in life, my pulse was extremely irregular and there were aberrations in my ECG (Covid can do strange things to your body!!). Doctor carefully chalked out my treatment plan and a cardiologist was also involved in my treatment. They explained everything to my husband over phone.

 

Day 14 to Day 21

Although I am fully aware of the medicines and treatment provided to me, I will consciously avoid discussing it here as I do not want to give an impression that it is the standard treatment. I would discourage self-medication as it can do more harm than good. Doctor's assess each patient’s medical reports, severity of the disease, co-morbidities, age etc. and then prepare their treatment plan.

Hence, surrender yourself to doctors and medical fraternity and let them do their job. They are experts at it. For initial 4-5 days, my condition did not improve much but gradually it picked up.

 

Note:-

1. No attendant is allowed inside a Corona Hospital. Patient must go inside alone and stay there alone throughout the course of treatment. If you need anything from home, ask your family members/friends to drop at the gate with your bed no. written on your stuff. Guard will take the stuff and get it delivered to you.

 

2. Everyday doctors visit all patients twice and monitor their progress. When doctor visit, he asks patient to call up a family member and then doctor himself speaks to family member to give them details of the patient’s progress.

 

3. Everyone working in a Corona Hospital (Doctors, Nurses, Ward Boys, lab technicians, House-Keeping staff, Guard etc.) must wear full PPE Kit throughout the day in scorching heat of Delhi. They are over-worked and short of staff. Some of them have not even seen their families in months. Sometimes, their services will not be up to the mark but being kind is the least we can do for them. They are serving patients like us risking their lives and hence deserve a huge round of applause.

 

4. While going inside a Corona Hospital, most of us thought we might be seeing our family members for the last time. But once inside, you get to interact with other patients who are in similar condition. I have seen patients sharing their personal stories with each other and giving strength to each other. Cry if you must (I also cried many times missing my son) but please don’t fall into the trap of hopelessness and helplessness. More than 95% patients recovered (even old and critical ones) and went back home. Few could not but perhaps we have to leave certain things to God’s will.

 

Day 22

Since I was able to maintain stable condition for 48 hours, my sample was sent for testing (Fingers Crossed!!). I could not sleep that night in hospital as I was anxiously waiting for my results next day.

 

Day 23

Nurse announced that I have tested negative for #Covid19. I could not wait to go back home but since it was a Sunday and hospital’s admin office was closed, I could only be discharged next day.

 

Day 24

Anxiously waited for my Doctor to pay me a visit so that I could thank him and ask for further follow up. It took a few hours for bill settlement. I also requested hospital to arrange for an ambulance drop for me as my husband was still under quarantine and local authorities did not allow him to take out his car and come pick me up (Our residential area had been declared a containment zone by then). Finally took ambulance and came home on my own (Talk about being independent !!).  I was still advised to stay under home quarantine for one more week.

 

Tantanaaaa (Mush Mush Alert !!)

 

I saw my Son after 21 days (Tears of Joy 😊... I don’t remember when was the last time I cried so much). Hugged my husband (We are so done with social distancing !!). On a serious note, it was his love, support and positivity that kept me sane throughout. Met my in-laws and thanked them (Without their support with our toddler, I would not have been able to go for isolation and treatment).

 

Life is Good Again 😊 !!

 

Day 25-30

Three weeks of Corona can cause immense weakness. Proper rest and diet are required for patients to recover completely. We spent one more week in home quarantine post which all my family members (my Mother-in-Law, Husband and Son) also tested negative (Phew!! Such a relief it was).

 

Note:- -

1. We continued to receive phone calls every day from local SDM office till our quarantine got over and all members of the family tested negative. Salute to them for their dedication, hard work and thorough follow-up.

 

2. Arogya Setu will continue to show you ‘Covid Positive’ until a week after you test negative. Afterwards, it will turn to ‘You are Safe’.  

 

3. Your sense of taste and smell  will be badly hit. It will take you weeks before you will be able to taste or smell anything properly.

The said and the unsaid

I have never been the kind who show love and affection to close friends with hugs and kisses. Its not a conscious call but just the way I have always been i.e. little shy when it comes to showing emotions. And honestly, it has never mattered much as my friends know me too well to demand any sort of public display of affection. Perhaps its a defence mechanism to shield myself from all sort of embarrassment that comes with every close relationship. Perhaps some things are better left unsaid.

Among the few but close friends that I have, Anki holds a special place. I and Anki met on first day of college. We were 18, fresh out of school, little lost in our lives and  diametrically opposite to each other in terms of our temperament, thinking and aspirations in life. To this day, it amuses me how effortlessly we connected and became friends. No matter how much we cribbed then but those three years of college were the bestest time we had with each other. Being two inquisitive and spiritual souls that we were and still are, it was but obvious for us to talk our hearts out on any topic under the sun. 

As far as my memory goes, we have talked about life, stars, aspirations, dreams, music, movies, books, travel, relationships, families, emotions, healing, make-up, boys, marriage to almost anything and everything I can think of. Perhaps much more than I have ever spoken to anyone else. I am not exaggerating when I say she understands my silence too. 

I must admit, she also reserves the sole right to insult me or pull my leg like no one else can and has been generously exercising it since ages.

Three years of college whirled by in a blink. We chose different careers and went on to live in different cities to pursue our dreams. Had our first serious relationship and first beark-up at nearly same time. At one time, we were too busy to stay in touch with each other on regular basis. But friendship remained.

She got married and moved to Canada a couple of years later. It was not easy to let go of such a close friend but as they say, Life goes on. Friendship still remained.

Several ups, downs and 12 years later, when we had assumed the presence of each other in our lives till eternity, this menace of cancer emerged out of nowhere. Having known Anki all these years, I was sure that she will fight it out but I am amazed at the brave woman she has grown up to become. Kindness and grace she is exhibiting surprises me to no end with each passing day. 

As much as I am discovering more things about her these days, there are a few lessons I have learned about myself a hard way.

Its important to say a few things that have always been left unsaid. When you connect with someone at an intuitive and spiritual level, tell them right away. It elates both the souls and give them the joy they both deserve. 

So here I go Anki, "You have always been and will remain my best friend forever. Love you soooo much (I know its too nauseatingly cheesy to be coming from me but hey it made you smile).

Loooots of love and big big hug :)

Happiness is a Place. It's called Bhutan :)

The best part about my Bhutan trip was that I didn’t plan it. It happened, just like all good things in life.

As I sat in my office staring at computer screen just a week before the trip, a watsapp message blinked on my phone “Do you want to join us on our Bhutan trip?”

“Anything immediately will not be possible as leaves won’t be sanctioned in office?” I replied in a matter of fact tone.

The chapter would have ended there but many thanks to the lord above, good sense prevailed and I made up my mind about visiting Bhutan that very day. As luck would have it, I could be away from office for a week in absence of professional commitments and rising temperatures in Delhi were also indicating to take a sojourn somewhere in Hills.

Once again, I had no idea about the composition of my travel group and once again; I met some wonderful people in my group. The awkward “Hi” became loud laughter in a matter of hours and strangers became friends in a matter of a day. Had it not been for the cheekiness of our group leader Neeraj Narayanan, laughter of Jaggi Sisters [Esha & Sadhvi], Selfies of Aditi, random guesses of Mohit in 20 question games, genius of Kruti in dumb charades, perfect clicks of Jay, leg pulling of adorable couple Sachin & Shruti, gyaan of CK, and of course oddities of Moi, this trip would not have been what it was. Add to it the quirkiness of 90s bollywood songs and magic of waterfalls and what we get is a Happy Vacation in a Happy Country.

Sitting in an office in Delhi and living a metro life, it seems incomprehensible how can a country be called Happiest in the world. After all, its people who are supposed to be Happy and not countries, right? Can geography be held responsible for happiness? Or is it the culture? People maybe? Or is it a matter of Faith? Bhutan is such a small country, so money as a factor of happiness is certainly ruled out. So what exactly is it that makes it the happiest country in the world?

An inquisitive soul that I am, an answer had to be found before I leave. And of course, like few other eccentricities of mine, I must find my answers myself. I thought I should explore it a bit more than what meets the eye and I am pleased I experienced what follows in this post:- 

Geography – I have a firm belief that geography of a place somewhere determines the temperament of its natives. Everything about Bhutan’s picturesque beauty exemplifies balance. Whether its stable mountains, flowing river, waterfalls or lush green meadows, nothing engulfs your senses yet nothing leaves you unmoved. Nature knows how to balance itself and there lies the beauty of it.

Culture – Warm is the most apt adjective for people of Bhutan. In my seven days stay, I did not hear a single person shouting, honking, being unreceptive or hostile. Thimpu is the only capital in world that does not have traffic lights and traffic is managed by traffic police manually without any incidence of road rage. Natives are sincere and they respect everything that has been created by nature, be it trees, mountains, rivers or animals. The significance of co-existence is understood and revered. In harmony, lies another ingredient of happiness.

 

    Faith – Whether faith is a cornerstone for happiness or not has been and will remain a contentious issue but let’s not forget its faith that can move the mountains. From this perspective, monasteries of Bhutan have to be the most peaceful places one can experience - Beautiful, Serene, Sacred and Mindful. You are neither expected to observe rituals, nor required to offer prayers necessarily. Just be respectful to their tradition and truthful to yourself and you are all good. Peace is within us and not outside is the most important lesson Bhutan taught me about being happy.

     Nothing is static, yet nothing moves. It neither roars, nor woos. It’s not about renunciation, not about embracing either. It is neither attached nor detached. It’s all about everything, yet about nothing. It is about the Rhythm that nature follows and teaches us to follow. Rhythm, like that of flowing water, which neither stops nor destroys but follows its own course at its own pace. Perhaps the most important pillar of Happiness.

I think I have my answer. Just like Happiness, Bhutan is all about Balance, Harmony, Peace and Rhythm.

Photo Credits : Jay Nair

Aaj Rang Hai

My tryst with ‘Sufi Music’ began almost 10 years ago when I unwittingly ended up listening to one of the Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan’s popular Qawwalis. Those who know me will testify that when I fall for something, I fall hard. Really Hard. And so began the quest of searching, listening, re-searching and re-listening to the compositions that I consider as one of the finest in Indian music. Being a greenhorn with limited access to Internet in those days, I had to make do with only popular versions of the genre. Next came a brief stint as a post graduate student of Psychology in Delhi University and with it an encounter with a brilliant Psychology Professor who taught intricate concepts of Existentialism and Symbolic Interactionism through Sufi music and Cinema. Needless to say, I fell hard for him too. Sigh!!

Since I certainly don't wish to be seen as a vainglorious woman who insist on writing her biography in this post, I shall, therefore, divert the flow of this post towards a great Sufi Poet Amir Khusro.

Legend has it  that the day Ab'ul Hasan Yamin-ud-Din Khusrau (a.k.a Amir Khusro) was born, his father took him to a God absorbed dervish, who said to his father, "You have brought one who would go two steps ahead of khaqani (nightingale)." 

And he did. Amir Khusro Dehlavi, as he is popularly known, turned out to be not only a Sufi Musician, Poet and a Scholar but also an iconic figure in the cultural history of the Indian subcontinent. Born to a Turkish Father and Muslim Rajput Mother more than 750 years ago, he is considered to be the ‘father of Qawwali’, is credited with having invented musical instruments like Sitar and Tabla, originator of the Ghazal style of song and above all, is immensely loved for the Poet he was. Instrumental in upholding secular culture of the Indian Sub-Continent, he wrote primarily in Persian and Hindustani (Braj Bhasha/ Khadi Boli) and also spoke in Arabic and Sanskrit.

Though Khusro’s works are spread across various genres of poetry, his most popular poems revolves around the theme of love. Love – captivating, encompassing and devoted kind. It could be Ishq-e-Haqiqi (the love of God) or Ishq-e-Majazi (love for God's creation i.e. love of a man for a woman or another man or vice -versa). His immortal poems or love songs composed in devotion to his master Hazrat Nizamuddin Auliya more than 700 years ago are still sung at dargah’s of Sufi Saints across India, Pakistan and Bangladesh. 

Be it ‘Chaap Tilak’ which portrays sentiments of a beautiful woman mesmerized by the sight of her lover and eventually looses her in him or ‘Khusro Rain Suhag Ki’ depicting bittersweet anxiety of a new bride (Ishq-e-Majazi), his poetry still stands tall and relevant after more than seven centuries it was first written.  But just when I thought he could not better himself, I discovered the ecstasy of ‘Aaj Rang Hai’ where poet is rejoicing in the unfathomable divine love for his master (Ishq-e-Haqiqi) and which usually produce a state of trance when sung at the end of Qawwali Mehfils.

Every year on the occasion of Urs of Hazrat Amir Khusro, thousands of his lovers visit the dargah of Hazrat Nizzamudin Auliya in Delhi where Khusro was laid to peace next to his master as per his last wish.  Urs is celebrated to mark the death anniversary of the sufi saint. It is not an occasion to mourn but to celebrate as sufi tradition sees death not as an end but as a transition from one form of being to another.

World will continues to see him as what he was, a distinguished poet in royal court, a scholar, a linguist, a humanist and a dedicated disciple of Hazrat Nizzamuddin Auliya. But to me, he has been and will remain a magician who would play with languages and words. Perhaps that is the reason that even 700 years after Khusro's communion with God, I still resort to his words to express myself when I find mine failing me. Perhaps that is the power of poetry. Perhaps that is the power of Poets.

Wherever you go becomes a part of you somehow

Its so difficult to begin this post for it will bring with it the nostalgia, the beauty, the joy and everything else that Bali and Gili Island were.

Back in november when i decided to take a vacation with strangers, it was a conscious decision to not read about the place or try to know people of my travel group beforehand. The idea was to not have any idea. And Boy, what a holiday it turned out to be !! Mom says I am still hungover. Well if the place where I went was anything close to the picture below, who will not ?

My takeaways from the trip:-

1. Sitting in bars and night clubs of Kuta (the most commercial district in southern bali), it is possible to have a soul stirring conversation with a friend you made a day before on the trip , for we all are but mortals equally scared and equally screwed deep inside our hearts. Some try to find solace in "Hash" loosely sold on the streets of Kuta, some in "Men" willing to go all the way with you and some in "Just a drink with themselves".

2. There are islands in this world where only mode of transportation is Tonga and Bicycle. The island named Gili Trawangan [one of the  3 Gili islands] is small enough that one can walk through its perimeter and yet when you decide to let it go, you might be heading for the most surreal experience of your life (i.e. diving) in an ocean which knows no bounds. Lazing on beach or walking around the island is your pick but there is no way you can come back from the place without promising yourself to return. Don't believe me ? Have a look.

3. Essence of travel is to meet new people. Each one has a tale to tell. Be all ears and you might end up making friends for life. Not only the people of your travel group, it is also natives of the place that define your experience. In my living memory, I don't remember to come across a place where everyone smiles. A Lot. Would you be surprised if I tell you that while walking all by myself on the island alone in midnight, I was offered a "boy" and on my refusal, the man just smiled and left? Well, I was surprised. Pleasantly so. Even on most commercial roads of bali, nobody honks and tour guides on mountain treks collect plastic bottles left behind by tourists in their bags to keep their place clean. Did it bring a smile on your face? As I said, once there, everyone smiles.

4. Its important to stretch your limits and try things you never thought you were capable of doing. Scream on those banana rides and on that so called sober sport they call tubing. Dive in an ocean with that pounding heart. Go for that active volcano trek where you feel like a hundred year old granny gasping for breath. Trust me, it won't kill you and what you might encounter in the end may turn out to be a thing of beauty [like watching the sun rise and sky changing color from black to gold to orange to blue]. And didn't John Keats once said "A thing of beauty is a joy forever"?

5. Kids are same everywhere and that is how they should be for they are just kids. On the sunrise trek of Mount Batur - Bali's active volcano, we met Agush, Alaan, Meera and Kisti, all between the age of 10 to 13. They accompany tourists on trek in night to sell them cold drinks, water etc. and have a school to attend at 10 am just after they return from work in morning. This life doesn't stop them from being happy and they are all crazy about their favourite Indian TV Stars. Do they have something to teach to this world full of Oil Wars, Fundamentalism and Hatred ? I think Yes.

 6. Brace yourself for the Gospel Truth - Bollywood is All Pervasive. Love it or hate it but once you are born as an Indian, you ought to stay connected with an invisible umbilical cord with "Ma and Cinema" till your last breath. The moment you land in Bali and they know you are from India, you will be greeted with love songs from movies of Shahrukh Khan and Emraan Haashmi everywhere. You think you can escape Bollywood? Hahaha. Try doing it once and i shall have to dedicate an entire post to your experience.

7. Plan but don't overplan. Pick up a scooty and drive on the roads of Ubud - the most beautiful town of Bali and its cultural hub. If you are lucky, you might find a group of musicians playing on the streets. You might be asked to dance. Don't hold back for this moment may never come again. Shake a leg with them, click a picture, say thank you and leave. 

8. Soak Yourself in the Experience. Its important to visit countryside to soak yourself in the essence of that place. When in Ubud, go to the countryside. Stop your scooty on roadside and stare at the lush green horizons, sit in the paddy fields and just take a walk in quaint lanes of the sleepy town. Or you may just sit in the local bar and admire the beauty that is Ubud.

9. Give credit when due. This trip would not have been possible without the planning and execution of Neeraj Narayanan, Editor and Travel Writer at "This Guy's On His Own Trip" . 

And Manasa do I need to tell you once again how glad I was to have met you :)


[Photo Credits : Neeraj Narayanan & Manasa Chandrashekhar]